Free Range Kids

I referenced a story in a post a couple months ago about a mother who caught hell for letting her 9 year old son ride the subway alone in New York. Salon.com has an interview with the mother, who has released a new book, “Free Range Kids.” Here’s the article: Stop Worrying About Your Children.

Some great quotes from the interview:

If you were a child in the ’70s or the ’80s and were allowed to go visit your friend down the block, or ride your bike to the library, or play in the park without your parents accompanying you, your children are no less safe than you were.

But it feels so completely different, and we’re told that it’s completely different, and frankly, when I tell people that it’s the same, nobody believes me. We’re living in really safe times, and it’s hard to believe.

Another one, which is exactly the point I made previously… (my older sister used to walk me home when I was in kindergarten, and she was in 3rd grade)

Maybe the 7-year-old will walk the 5-year-old home, and nobody would say: “Oh my God, where are the parents? Let’s arrest them.” Perhaps your child is in .00007 percent more danger, but the danger is so minute to begin with. There is a 1 in 1.5 million chance that your kid would be abducted and killed by a stranger. It is hard to wrap your mind around those numbers, and everybody always assumes: What if it’s my 1 in 1.5 million?

If you don’t want to have your child in any kind of danger, you really can’t do anything. You certainly couldn’t drive them in a car, because that’s the No. 1 way kids die, as passengers in car accidents.

I realize that this could seem antithetical to my Papi Nuevo researchaholicism, such as the recent posts I’ve made about trying to find phthlate-free and PBA-free plastics. But here’s my current outlook and where I make the (however thin) distinction: There are tangible things I know I can protect my child from: harfmul chemicals like those found in plastics, baby wipes, lotions, creams, etc. And there are conceptual things that I could only hope to protect my child from, but that I have no control over: like playing outdoors.

Example: the odds of my child choking on a chicken bone are probably 1 in 1.5 million as well. Should I prevent my child from eating chicken? No. Should I research the chicken brand I feed my family to make sure it is free of hormones and toxins? Yes. I can prevent hormones from getting into a child’s body. I can’t prevent them from choking on a chicken. However, I can give them the tools to eat slowly, be careful with chicken bones, not talk to strangers, run if somebody talks to you, etc. (I just mixed my analogies, but you see where I’m going with this.)

I hope that I am part of a group of parents who were children in the 70s and 80s, who are returning to the concept of “let them play outside.” Hopefully the cultural pendulum is swinging back in favor of teaching responsibility and independence. Last point I love:

And when I say: “Walk to school,” you’re thinking, What about that girl in the trailer park in California who was walking to her friend’s house the other day? [Sandra Cantu, 8, of Tracy, was murdered in late March 2009. The chief suspect is the child's Sunday school teacher, who is also the mother of one of the girl's friends.] That’s the image you have. You get despairing and worried, and then you remember afterward there was probably some expert on TV saying: “Parents, here are some tips for you.”

As if there is a tip that can tell you, “Remember parents: Don’t ever let your child out of the house to go visit a playmate.” That’s what the tip would be, and it wouldn’t make any sense. Preparing for such unlikely scenarios is like preparing for, “Remember parents: Asteroids happen, so keep your children inside!”

But of course, as I’ve said previously, I reserve the right to totally change my opinion on all of this, and be one of those parents who buys knee pads to make crawling safer.

My latest infatuation…

Tummy Tub!

From Holland, of course! (My wife made me say that.)  Ours is shipping in June.

KNOW YOUR PLASTICS!

In typical Papi fashion, I’ve squandered a large part of the day researching toxins and plastics. (My wife likes to call it “procrastinating from the work I really should be doing.”)

First stop is my quest for safe-plastic baby bottles… I stumbled upon this amazing webpage: Know Your Plastics, from HealthyChild.org. In 20 words or less, here’s what you need to know: Plastics labeled with a 1, 2, 4, 5 are basically safe. Avoid plastics with # 3, 6, and mostly 7.

We also found this thread, which… as with every other user-supplied-forum on the internet… should be taken with an amazingly large grain of salt… Discussion on plastics at Mothering.com. Of note, that thread is from 2003.

The Week In Review

I don’t care what the calendar insists. To me, Sunday is the end of the week. So let’s take a look back, shall we? (In no particular order…)

On Thursday, my wife passed the week 35 mark. Only 5 weeks to go. BabyCenter.com sent me an email in honor of the occasion, reminding me that my unborn child is about the weight of a honeydew melon.

On Friday, I took my car to our local neighborhood resource center. I had an appointment at noon for them to show me how to properly install my car seat base. I was amazed at how simple it was. (But, as my wife pointed out, they saved me from reading the manual, which could have made it seem much more daunting. True. True.) And best of all, it was free. Walking in, I got the impression that neighborhood resource centers might be geared towards… oh what’s the word… lower income families. But, my property or sales taxes likely fund it in one way or another, so I guess I don’t feel bad using it. Besides, is it my fault I did research and found that this organization offered a free service? Plus, the state highway patrol makes you wait weeks and weeks. This place was like, “Sure, when you wanna’ come in?”  Chalk one up for socialism! Suck it, GOP.

Friday evening, we went to ‘Babies’ ‘R’ ‘Us’. (I forget how many and where to place the superfluous apostrophes.)  If you read my previous entry, you’ll remember that a store employee told us that if you get a coupon within two weeks of your purchase, you can bring in your receipt and the coupon and retroactively apply it. Well, we had some “15% off any single purchase” coupons that began 13 days after our receipt. So we had to go in Friday night to redeem them.

Fast forward after about 30 minutes of confused customer service employees and talking with a manager: We were able to apply it to one of our $550 purchases (glider I think), and basically got $80. We opted for in-store credit, which I think made the manager slightly more amenable to helping us out. Plus, we plopped down like $3K in receipts, and he said, “Well, I can see you’ve spent a lot of money with us… so we’ll go ahead and do it.”  We took the $80 and bought another $300 worth of items. See, Babies ”’R”’ Us… it all worked in your favor.

On Saturday… oh Saturday… 9am-5pm Birthing Preparation and Lamaze class. It was good, but long. Learned lots of breathing techniques to help with contractions. Learned different positions to help with pain management, and different visualiztion / focus techniques. Watched about four videos of actual start-to-finish labors. (From sitting at home, to deciding to go to hospital, through baby emerging.)  Man, I definitely had a skewed version of labor. It definitely looked pretty intimidating. But, at least I feel slightly more prepared.

Well, that’s not true. With each of these classes, I would say before the class, I felt 80% prepared. After the class, probably 50% prepared. The variable here is that before each class, I didn’t realize exactly how much there was to deal with and to do. So my preception of what “100%” prepared really meant shifted, I suppose. Oddly, I know I left each class more prepared than when I walked in… but it’s like the door at the end of the hall just got that much farther away. Am I making any sense what-so-ever? Sports analogy time! Before each class, I felt like I was on the 10 yard line, and only had to make it to the 50 yard line. A difference of 40 yards. With the assistance of class, I left prepared on the 30 yard line, but realized I actually had to make it to the endzone, which is 70 yards away. Ta-da. Thank you sports analogy. Once again you have served your fellow man.

Saturday after the class we made our baby bassinet. Sooooo cute. Then we went out to the car, and I showed my wife everything I learned about car seat installation, and then we installed a second base in our other car. I think comleting those two things, in particular, were significant to complete, because a car seat means we can legally take the baby home from the hospitial, and a bassinet means the baby has somewhere to sleep. So even if we get nothing else done between now and when my wife goes into labor, we’ve got that covered.

On Thursday the delivery folks called to set up a time to deliver our crib, changing table / dresser combo, and glider-ottoman. Alas, they wanted to deliver Saturday, but we’ll be out. So they’ll be delivering Tuesday. My wife is getting antsy (“nesting?”) to take all of this baby stuff and put it somewhere, and organize it, but as of yet we have nowhere to really store it. I think this is causing her some angst, and hopefully getting the furniture delivered will relieve some of her pressure.